How We're Remembered

Bob Sanford (l) and me.

Last weekend I drove to the Bay Area to attend my twin brother Bob's "Celebration of Life." His close friend, former professional baseball player Wayne Gross, along with his wife Patty, hosted the event. They welcomed around 40 of Bob's closest friends to their home, where we shared memories of Bob's personality, generosity, humor, mentorship, and friendship.

What stood out to me was how Bob's friends remembered him as a person, despite his impressive achievement of building an international software company with a presence in 80 countries. Here are a few shared memories:

"If you were Bob’s friend, he was your 4:00 AM morning person. He would do anything he could for you." This included rides to airports and dog-sitting. "I'm pretty sure he liked our dog more than us, and our dog liked him better too."

"Bob made good, lifelong friends wherever he went."

"Bob was generous. If he had it, he shared it." This was especially true in his last year. For one friend of his son David's family, he funded travel to visit them after they had moved to Texas; and arranged for her mother, who she hadn't seen in many years, to fly from South America to join them.

He routinely tipped servers with $100 bills just to make their day and he set up trusts to help others into the future. And he donated thousands of dollars to Rotary projects and other non-profits. His generosity was referred to as "Getting Bob'd."

One spoke of the time when the entire corporate staff celebrated Bob's birthday by dressing in Bob's signature outfit of khaki trousers and black polo shirts. And the women even sported fake beards that matched his. I remembered visiting him one time and he had me walk into the offices first. People did double-takes thinking he had finally shaved his beard. He took great delight by walking in 10 minutes later still sporting his full beard.

Mike Kerr, who founded Snowball Express, shared, "I knew how to drum up support and get corporations involved, but I didn’t have a clue how to handle the logistics of such an undertaking. Enter Bob Sanford."

"When I met Bob and told him about the mission, he was immediately onboard. You must understand how crucial he was to accomplishing this effort. It required tracking 900 people from the point they left their hometowns and began their journey, including flights, accommodations, and schedules, family members and even medical conditions. I had no idea how to do it. But Bob did. He handled all of it without asking for any money or recognition. The event never would have happened without him."

I shared a fun story about him negotiating with the Russian hotel company InTourist in Moscow over massive amounts of vodka. His son told about how he helped their family buy their first house.

I learned things about my brother I hadn't known before. But the most important lesson was that we're remembered not for what we do, but for how we make people feel. The legacy of the good we do for others far outweighs our professional accomplishments.